Family & Safety

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Is a court order needed for parental responsibilities?

Parental responsibilities mean the power to make decisions for a child and to spend time with them. This used to be called custody, but this term is no longer used in Illinois.  A court order will protect each parent's rights. It will also allow you to make the other parent follow the rules about parental responsibilities.You do not need a court order if you are the natural mother, or if you get along with the other parent. But without an order, it may be hard to get the courts or police to help you if you have a problem with the other parent. 

How does visitation work with a pending divorce?

  • The judge sets rules for spouses that have minor children (under 18 years old). The judge will decide parental responsibilities (custody). These issues must be decided within 18 months of the spouse receiving the divorce papers. The judge will also decide how much money each parent will pay for child support. 
  • A court order for parental responsibilities will explain what decision-making power each parent has. It will also explain how much parenting time they get. 
  • Before the judge decides parental responsibilities, parents must attend a court-authorized parenting education program. The program is called Focus on Children. It teaches parents ways they can avoid hurting their children during the divorce. Most people have to do this in-person. But if you can reach an agreement about parenting time with your spouse, you may be able to complete an online class instead. Both parents must take this class within 60 days after the first meeting with the judge. Contact your local circuit clerk’s office for information about a court-approved course. You should also see if you qualify for a fee waiver, and how to get a "Certificate of Completion,” to prove you have taken it. The Center for Divorce Education has a list of available options.

What if we are able to solve these issues on our own?

  • If you are able to work out an agreement on parental responsibilities on your own or through mediation, you can go to a hearing officer. That is someone who works for the court and can help at the judge's request. With the hearing officer, you'll write everything down in a Parenting Plan to give to the judge. You will need a note from the judge to schedule a time with a hearing officer. 

What can I do to help my children cope with our divorce? 

  • Children and Teens Speak: A free four-hour session designed to help your children cope with the stress of a Domestic Relations Case. This program is available for kids ages 5-17. Ask your judge for more information and a referral to the program.
  • Contact the counselors, social workers, or psychologists at your child’s school to identify local resources.
  • Rainbows for all Children: This non-profit is available to help your children understand and heal from loss. Examples of loss include death, divorce, deployment, or other trauma occurring in your household.
Last full review by a subject matter expert
May 10, 2019
Last revised by staff
May 24, 2020

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Worried about doing this on your own?  You may be able to get free legal help.